Self care is so important for relationships. You cannot GROW the LOVE in your relationship if you have nothing left in the tank to give. So each and every day, taking the time to do something that is just for you is essential.
"I don’t have time to do that", I hear you say: "I’m a mother of small children", or "I have a business to run", or "my schedule has no spare space" or all of the above! Well think about it this way - it is as optional as putting fuel in your car – you just cannot run without it. When we make things a priority (or not optional) we work out a way to make it happen.
But I must confess I was really bad at this when my kids were small, so I had to make some changes. The easiest way to make a change is to start small and basic and grow from there. If you also attach it to something you are already doing it can help as well. So I started shutting the bathroom door so I could shower in peace – a lovely 5 minutes of mindfulness right there.
As the mother of young children the morning would be a constant stream of: “Mum where is this? Mum where is that? Mum I can’t find…” (and not always from the children!). At first they would stand outside the door and yell but I explained I can’t hear them and they would need to wait – they soon caught on and I had taken a 5 minute step to incorporate some more peace into my day.
This is something I have maintained over the years and now when I come out of the shower my head is clearer and I am ready to start the day.
Wherever you choose to start doesn’t need to be complicated it just needs to happen and once you have mastered the small things you can start to add bigger things to your day.
Write yourself a list of the top 10 things you consider nurturing to you. This is not something that you feel you should do, but something that is pleasurable, perhaps you look forward to it and want to do it. For example, for some going to the gym falls into the look forward to category for others it is a chore. Think about what it is for you. There can be small things like having a cup of tea while patting the dog through to big things like nights away!
Once you have your list put it somewhere where you can see it and then you don’t need to think about it, you just pick one off the list: Today I will…
Your relationship will thank you for it.
Other ideas for GROWing the LOVE in your relationship can be found in my online mini-courses and workshops. Click Here...
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