Why is it that family gatherings can bring out the worst in people? Well things can really go downhill when any of what relationship expert, John Gottman’s 4 horsemen show up. The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling are behaviours that in relationships spell doom (hence their name!)
The 4 horsemen have no place at holiday dinners so don’t bring them with you. Remember you cannot change other’s behaviour – you are only responsible for yourself. And wouldn’t it be lovely if everyone left their 4 horsemen at home!
Criticism: That throwaway comment about your hair colour or weight or job or anything else for that matter that feels like having a dig is criticism. You may have a family member that feels it’s their duty to point out your flaws so you can (in their mind at least) improve and better yourself.
If you are that family member STOP. Find something that you...